It’s the uncertainty of not knowing what will be that challenges our equilibrium. The start
of school is just a few weeks away and many parents still do not know if their children’s
school will be bringing students back into the classroom or offering another semester of
How can we best prepare our children for their new school year in the thick of all this
Here are some suggestions to help ease our children into the new school year while not
knowing what will be tomorrow.
Setting a positive tone while simultaneously validating difficult emotions
Now is a great opportunity to teach or children to face uncertainty with confidence,
flexibility, and humor. They are looking to you, their parents, and watching your
reactions and responses. Model a “We’ve got this!” attitude and do your best to radiate
calm and confidence. Attitude is contagious and as parents, we set the tone for our
homes. Our children will absorb the mood we send out so let’s do our best to do our
best! Need to vent your frustration, fears, and anxieties? We all do, and this is a great
time to practice and demonstrate healthy ways to manage our strong emotions.
Naming our feelings, accepting them, and validating our right to feel that way
automatically diffuses strong emotions and begins the process of appropriately
managing our big feelings. Sometimes a little more is needed and there is no shame in
reaching out to a friend, confidant, relative, or a professional to process those feelings
so we can pull it together and be present and centered for our kids. By coaching our
children as well as modeling these life skills, our children will learn from us that all
feelings are okay, and it is how we deal with them that matters most.
Set Realistic expectations but celebrate the ‘handful of stars’
As the saying goes, when life presents us with challenges that are impossible to meet,
DON’T expect perfection. For now, allow good enough to be good enough.
A good rule for couples counseling is rather than shoot for 100%, aim for 80-20. That
way if one or the other falls a little short makes a mistake, or slips a bit from the agreed
upon standard, we can more easily forgive and be flexible. So, during a pandemic and
days mired in uncertainty and not-knowing, If we can project positivity, calm, and keep
things together 80% of the time, that’s pretty excellent. And the same goes for our children.
We set our goals for 100% and if they perform at 80% that is well- worthy of a trip to the
ice cream store!!!!!
So, go ahead and reach for the moon, but if we fail, what’s wrong with a handful of
At Friend 2 Friend L.A. we teach kids how to express their feelings, manage their
emotions, greet challenges with confidence and flexibility and show compassion to
themselves and others. We do our children a great service when we provide them with
the opportunities to learn tools and skills for getting along with friends, understanding
themselves and their reactions, increasing self-confidence, assertiveness, and
compassion. These are the life skills that enable people to greet challenges and
adversity with resilience and grace.